There but for the Grace of God...
Jonnie Comet
17 July 2000
So you’ve got yourself to middle school now, and you’re unlucky enough to go to a coeducational school, where the guys are. And you’d hoped to find that they all really like you, because it’d make your life easier, since you’d love to know that at least one of them likes you in particular, because after all that’s what we’re all supposed to want, right? But so far here’s how they’ve been treating you:
So you’ve got yourself to middle school now, and you’re unlucky enough to go to a coeducational school, where the guys are. And you’d hoped to find that they all really like you, because it’d make your life easier, since you’d love to know that at least one of them likes you in particular, because after all that’s what we’re all supposed to want, right? But so far here’s how they’ve been treating you:
Your shoe’s untied and you stop and bend over to tie it and some guys walk by and one of them says something about your tush or the angle you’re on or how the level of your head is ‘just right’. Or you’re reaching up to shove the books into your locker and one of the guys says something about how high your top rides up or what size you must be now or what a ‘nice handful’ one or two things might make. Or maybe you hit the jackpot and get an actual one-to-one with one of them, and after a few minor words he says something about ‘getting together’ and starts asking you about your dating experience, and what you’ve done and what you haven’t, and whether you’d try this or that if only you had the right guy– indicating himself of course– and you feel profoundly embarrassed because you haven’t the faintest clue about what he’s saying except that you know other people are talking about it too and, after all, you’re smart enough to figure it out, but you’re not sure you need to know about it like he’s suggesting you should, and you feel like an idiot until he really starts driving at you with the questions and you get the urge to just run away like a scared rabbit, punch him or at least hurl one good solid verbal insult back at him, and all those other guys too, something with a wonderfully nasty-looking wince on your face and one or two choice obscenities thrown in to let him know you don’t indulge in his kind of slime, the miserable scumball that he is, but you know that when you do he’ll just seem to like it more and keep at it and, worse, he’ll tell everyone else too, so you can get known like that.
Have I got any of this right so far?
This seems to happen all the time, with every guy that’s even
remotely interesting. And the only thing
you can think by now is that you must really be a total tart. You didn’t used to be; but everything about
your life is totally different than it was three years ago. Well, first, you’ve got a body now– you
didn’t have that three years ago.
Everyone seems to be paying attention to you– men and women both. You’ve got a shape other women love to hate
you for, and you dress like you don’t care– or worse, like you do, and they
hate you for it either way. The men–
well, you know what the men are thinking, and if you don’t you will in another
year or so. Every guy from 12 to 100
stares at you; and the awful part is, there’s a good-sized bit of you that
actually likes it, and, even worse, there’s a little bit of you that actually
wouldn’t mind doing whatever it is they’ve got in mind. Oh, Lord! –what a tart you must be.
Now the Darwinists will say that all of this is perfectly natural, that the strange attraction you feel towards that kind of scumball is normal and you ought to be brave enough, or intelligent enough, to just admit it and accept it. But there’s a problem with believing this. It suggests our basest feelings represent our true selves, that we are nothing higher than naked apes and it’s the way of all flesh. That’s a pretty sad way to think. If we were put on this earth with all the marvellous faculties and abilities we have for no other reason than to do as all other warm-blooded creatures do, then what’s the point of being here? All our logic and faith tells us this can’t be the case. Man, as an animal, is an admirable piece of work... ‘how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals.’ It’s a crying shame to simply toss all that out and deny that we are ever called towards more than birth, sex, nursing a few infants, and death.
But people who accept the Darwin argument are never going to be truly valuable in society– they only think they are because there’s so many of them; and the reason there are so many of them is because it’s an intellectually lazy way to think. And men in particular are particularly lazy intellectually. When a guy comes on to you with the attitude that ‘You’re a girl; I’m a guy– hey, let’s get together’, remind yourself that he probably follows an ideology suggesting he is directly descended from smelly apes who poop on each other, and the resemblance at the time ought to be crystal-clear to you.
The truth is that there are only two things keeping you from being the tart you have been dreading you’ve already become. The first is the love of God. I’m not saying the will of God– no, not His will, powerful as that may be. No, I mean the love of God– that true love, unconditional, unchanging, never-ending. This is the love of a good father, who cares for you and teaches you and protects you from hazardous situations, and then takes you back in with open arms and repairs the damage when you’ve gone wrong anyway. So you always have somewhere to turn whenever you are in doubt of what to do or how to act. No child of God will ever be unwelcome in His house, because He chooses to love us all. So you are never lost, bad as you think your situation might be.
The other thing is your will. God grant you a will like His own, so that you would have the ability to choose between His way and any other way. Certainly God is not interested in seeing you become a tart. But all His efforts at trying to prove to you that He exists and that you ought to follow Him will amount to nothing if you choose to turn your pretty head and ignore what He’s trying to say. You have to remember that at any given time, you can say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. You can decide what you will be– tart or virtuous woman, the choice is all yours and you can’t blame anyone but yourself.
Only those who choose to believe in God and accept His love and His rules for good living ever realise this. They are saved even before they have doubts, because they know there is always an alternative to sin, and that is to follow God, live under His roof, abide by His house rules, have His protection, receive His love. God is your best friend and your most powerful ally. He can bear any confidence and intercede in any problem you have. –‘If God is with us, who can be against us?’
Now the next time some guy makes a lewd comment, it would be unchristian to reduce yourself to his level and respond in kind. Don’t play his game at all. When he looks at you with sinful thoughts on his mind you play right into his hand by replying sinfully. No; the correct thing to do is to smother him with virtue. Act as though you don’t understand what he said– never mind that it makes you blush. Say, ‘Pardon me?’ First of all, just saying that in a respectful tone will throw him off. Guys don’t know how to deal with a young lady using real manners. Oh; he’ll try again in some other way, if he’s really persistent. But you’ll respond again like before. –‘I’m sorry; do I know you?’ –or, ‘I’m sorry; did you want to talk with me?’ –or something to indicate you were not aware you were supposed to value what he’s just said, as though you’re too nice to have got it at all.
The main thing is to do it with absolutely the best manners and most ladylike– let’s even call it ‘prissy’ –tone that you can. A scumball can’t handle that. He’ll immediately brand you a prude and go off in search of someone who gives him less trouble; and what should you care if he calls you a prude? –for the opinion of a scumball isn’t worth anything and sooner or later everyone figures that out.
You may wonder now why simply insulting him isn’t easier to be rid of him faster. Well, you’re thinking; and at least you do want to be rid of him. The reason insults won’t work is because deep down inside this kind of guy believes that he really is a scumball. See; it’s the Darwin idea at work. When you insult him, it meshes with that– he doesn’t even know it well enough to admit it, but you’ve just validated his deepest beliefs. It’s easy for him then. He doesn’t have to try to be anything more than a scumball, because the woman he’s attracted to already accepts him that way. He’ll continue to insult and degrade you until he’s certain he’s brought you down to his level, where he feels most secure– where he is in charge, in his scumball world. The single worst thing a woman can ever do is to allow a man to believe that being nothing more than a scumball is acceptable.
Now the Darwinists will say that all of this is perfectly natural, that the strange attraction you feel towards that kind of scumball is normal and you ought to be brave enough, or intelligent enough, to just admit it and accept it. But there’s a problem with believing this. It suggests our basest feelings represent our true selves, that we are nothing higher than naked apes and it’s the way of all flesh. That’s a pretty sad way to think. If we were put on this earth with all the marvellous faculties and abilities we have for no other reason than to do as all other warm-blooded creatures do, then what’s the point of being here? All our logic and faith tells us this can’t be the case. Man, as an animal, is an admirable piece of work... ‘how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals.’ It’s a crying shame to simply toss all that out and deny that we are ever called towards more than birth, sex, nursing a few infants, and death.
But people who accept the Darwin argument are never going to be truly valuable in society– they only think they are because there’s so many of them; and the reason there are so many of them is because it’s an intellectually lazy way to think. And men in particular are particularly lazy intellectually. When a guy comes on to you with the attitude that ‘You’re a girl; I’m a guy– hey, let’s get together’, remind yourself that he probably follows an ideology suggesting he is directly descended from smelly apes who poop on each other, and the resemblance at the time ought to be crystal-clear to you.
The truth is that there are only two things keeping you from being the tart you have been dreading you’ve already become. The first is the love of God. I’m not saying the will of God– no, not His will, powerful as that may be. No, I mean the love of God– that true love, unconditional, unchanging, never-ending. This is the love of a good father, who cares for you and teaches you and protects you from hazardous situations, and then takes you back in with open arms and repairs the damage when you’ve gone wrong anyway. So you always have somewhere to turn whenever you are in doubt of what to do or how to act. No child of God will ever be unwelcome in His house, because He chooses to love us all. So you are never lost, bad as you think your situation might be.
The other thing is your will. God grant you a will like His own, so that you would have the ability to choose between His way and any other way. Certainly God is not interested in seeing you become a tart. But all His efforts at trying to prove to you that He exists and that you ought to follow Him will amount to nothing if you choose to turn your pretty head and ignore what He’s trying to say. You have to remember that at any given time, you can say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. You can decide what you will be– tart or virtuous woman, the choice is all yours and you can’t blame anyone but yourself.
Only those who choose to believe in God and accept His love and His rules for good living ever realise this. They are saved even before they have doubts, because they know there is always an alternative to sin, and that is to follow God, live under His roof, abide by His house rules, have His protection, receive His love. God is your best friend and your most powerful ally. He can bear any confidence and intercede in any problem you have. –‘If God is with us, who can be against us?’
Now the next time some guy makes a lewd comment, it would be unchristian to reduce yourself to his level and respond in kind. Don’t play his game at all. When he looks at you with sinful thoughts on his mind you play right into his hand by replying sinfully. No; the correct thing to do is to smother him with virtue. Act as though you don’t understand what he said– never mind that it makes you blush. Say, ‘Pardon me?’ First of all, just saying that in a respectful tone will throw him off. Guys don’t know how to deal with a young lady using real manners. Oh; he’ll try again in some other way, if he’s really persistent. But you’ll respond again like before. –‘I’m sorry; do I know you?’ –or, ‘I’m sorry; did you want to talk with me?’ –or something to indicate you were not aware you were supposed to value what he’s just said, as though you’re too nice to have got it at all.
The main thing is to do it with absolutely the best manners and most ladylike– let’s even call it ‘prissy’ –tone that you can. A scumball can’t handle that. He’ll immediately brand you a prude and go off in search of someone who gives him less trouble; and what should you care if he calls you a prude? –for the opinion of a scumball isn’t worth anything and sooner or later everyone figures that out.
You may wonder now why simply insulting him isn’t easier to be rid of him faster. Well, you’re thinking; and at least you do want to be rid of him. The reason insults won’t work is because deep down inside this kind of guy believes that he really is a scumball. See; it’s the Darwin idea at work. When you insult him, it meshes with that– he doesn’t even know it well enough to admit it, but you’ve just validated his deepest beliefs. It’s easy for him then. He doesn’t have to try to be anything more than a scumball, because the woman he’s attracted to already accepts him that way. He’ll continue to insult and degrade you until he’s certain he’s brought you down to his level, where he feels most secure– where he is in charge, in his scumball world. The single worst thing a woman can ever do is to allow a man to believe that being nothing more than a scumball is acceptable.
Ultimately, countering with politeness will do exactly the
opposite. It doesn’t change the fact
that the guy is interested in girls. It
won’t change the fact that he still may believe some of them are available
tarts. What’s different is how he will
change after attempting to insult you.
You let him know that acting like a scumball is unacceptable, that if he
wants your attention he’s going to have to earn it, and that he’ll have to try
being more gentlemanly and polite to do it.
Now there are two kinds of guys who’ll insult you and they’ll
each handle this differently. The true
scumball doesn’t want to change from being a scumball; and, since you obviously
want him to change, he’s not going to go there.
He’s lazy. He’ll decide that
you’re not worth his effort and just go after a real tart who doesn’t ask him
to be anything but a scumball. The
sooner he realises this, the sooner he’ll give up on you. You don’t need this guy anyway; so my advice
is to be quick about it and spare both yourself and him a lot of aggravation.
The other guy is the one who acts like a scumball because he thinks it’s expected of him because so many other guys seem to be scumballs; but he has a great potential for being a gentleman. This guy will at least try to rise to the challenge you give him. He’ll immediately apologise and possibly go away and approach you later with a better comment. Be wary– but sound him and see how well he does. It might be amusing. It might even lead to something good. After all, by trying to look like less of a scumball he’s making an effort to earn you. But don’t let your guard down. Don’t even meet him halfway. Let him know in no uncertain terms that it’s going to take everything he’s got. If he’s worth it, he’ll meet the challenge. If he’s really just a scumball after all, he’ll give up and you won’t have lost anything anyway.
Of course a guy who’s already a gentleman would not have made the lewd comment in the first place. He’s probably been gazing at you from afar and, I assure you, though he is not stupid his thoughts are anything but lewd. One day you will meet eyes with him, and he will say shyly, ‘Hi.’ It might take another few weeks for him to say more than that. This is the way he sounds you out. The best way to encourage him is by keeping your guard up and keeping your standards high, because that’s what’s attracting him to you. Don’t worry about losing him– if he’s really good enough he’ll pass every test, and you won’t end up with a scumball. This is how confident girls with less than goddess-like looks are able to get attention. They attract it by sheer force of goodness. Lesser people can’t handle that. You see, it’s got nothing to do with your looks. It’s got everything to do with your virtue.
The deep-down secret which every guy will ultimately confess is that he just wants a nice, sweet, innocent, virtuous girl to fall head-over-heels in love with no-one but him. Note, I said every guy. Most of them know what’s required. The best of them already try to do it. The scumballs are just either stupid or lazy– probably both. There’s simply no reason to accept a scumball; and you should never give up as so many modern women do and say, ‘All guys are scumballs’. If that appears true it’s only because there are so many lazy or stupid women out there who accept them that way. Most guys are essentially lazy– they won’t change if they don’t have to. The best ones are hard workers and they’ll accept any challenge if the reward is appropriate.
This is where you come in. You see, you are the reward. We all know you don’t get something for nothing– everything has its price. And... ‘the price of a virtuous woman is far above rubies.’
The other guy is the one who acts like a scumball because he thinks it’s expected of him because so many other guys seem to be scumballs; but he has a great potential for being a gentleman. This guy will at least try to rise to the challenge you give him. He’ll immediately apologise and possibly go away and approach you later with a better comment. Be wary– but sound him and see how well he does. It might be amusing. It might even lead to something good. After all, by trying to look like less of a scumball he’s making an effort to earn you. But don’t let your guard down. Don’t even meet him halfway. Let him know in no uncertain terms that it’s going to take everything he’s got. If he’s worth it, he’ll meet the challenge. If he’s really just a scumball after all, he’ll give up and you won’t have lost anything anyway.
Of course a guy who’s already a gentleman would not have made the lewd comment in the first place. He’s probably been gazing at you from afar and, I assure you, though he is not stupid his thoughts are anything but lewd. One day you will meet eyes with him, and he will say shyly, ‘Hi.’ It might take another few weeks for him to say more than that. This is the way he sounds you out. The best way to encourage him is by keeping your guard up and keeping your standards high, because that’s what’s attracting him to you. Don’t worry about losing him– if he’s really good enough he’ll pass every test, and you won’t end up with a scumball. This is how confident girls with less than goddess-like looks are able to get attention. They attract it by sheer force of goodness. Lesser people can’t handle that. You see, it’s got nothing to do with your looks. It’s got everything to do with your virtue.
The deep-down secret which every guy will ultimately confess is that he just wants a nice, sweet, innocent, virtuous girl to fall head-over-heels in love with no-one but him. Note, I said every guy. Most of them know what’s required. The best of them already try to do it. The scumballs are just either stupid or lazy– probably both. There’s simply no reason to accept a scumball; and you should never give up as so many modern women do and say, ‘All guys are scumballs’. If that appears true it’s only because there are so many lazy or stupid women out there who accept them that way. Most guys are essentially lazy– they won’t change if they don’t have to. The best ones are hard workers and they’ll accept any challenge if the reward is appropriate.
This is where you come in. You see, you are the reward. We all know you don’t get something for nothing– everything has its price. And... ‘the price of a virtuous woman is far above rubies.’
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