Why do spies in movies always wear hard shoes?
Why must we hear this clumping as the antagonist pursues?
Has it occurred to anyone soft soles might be the rub?
Or does the sound man’s union card require an overdub?
Why do spies in movies wear those three-piece suits? 5
Is this ideal attire for their criminal pursuits?
Are there awards being given to the films with best-dressed guys?
And, if so, must recipients be actors playing spies?
Why don’t spies in movies have to comb their hair?
Is this a job for make-up girls just offstage, standing there? 10
So what’s our image of a hero: perfect as a doll?
And why do people pay to catch these silly films at all?
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